Impossible is nothing

Tomorrow morning two of my buddies @niccombe and @fergusbisset will be joining hundreds of other people to run the Bupa 10k around London. They have both trained for this race – but neither is feeling like they’ve done enough and I think the technical term for how they are both feeling is  ’bricking it’.

So this blog post is for them – two pics taken on my recent holiday.

-Amazing is sacrificing everything but belief

- Impossible is nothing

ps Seemingly ‘bricking it’ is a great recipe for success….Ferg and Nic after the race – looks to me like they enjoyed it way too much!

Respect please!

I thought I’d start this blog post by sharing a little bit about my family life with you, I guess by way of setting the context! My parents are very different people – my dad served in the Navy, has been involved for the past 20 years with the Army Cadet Force and a lot of his values that he gained from involvement with the armed forces were instilled in us from an early age; my mum on the other hand is a very different sort, she is a pacifist, a peace maker and peace keeper who is very uncomfortable with a lot of what my dad believes in – luckily her values were instilled in us from an early age too. At times a somewhat difficult mix for them but without doubt a great grounding for us as kids – it meant that things were always questioned, we were supported to make our own minds up and never was one view considered to be right or wrong or better than the other, without a lot of thought and reflection.

Photo by stuff_and_nonsense

So what has this got to do with anything? Well I grew up with uniforms, rules and routines as part of my life. Not just my dad but my sister too, first as an army cadet, then as an instructor and then more recently as an army wife. To be honest I always took the piss out of my Dad a little and ‘the toy soldiers’ as I referred to the cadets. There was something that never sat 100% comfortably with me; I’ve never been that big on authority and hierarchy! Having said that I could see the benefit that being an army cadet had to some of the young people my Dad came across – the sense of responsibility, the sense of pride in their uniform, the sense of belonging to something bigger than their own family lives, the hope and belief, the self-worth, the possibilities for the future, the positive response to routines and discipline. All of this demonstrated by some of the most ‘troublesome’ kids, those that were on the edge/excluded from school – all of it supported by a group of volunteer adults who themselves are driven by a pride in their uniform, a sense of belonging and duty, an inherent desire to do their best for little or no reward or recognition.

So what am I blogging about here….well just lately my twitter stream has contained tweets that I am increasingly uncomfortable with; people complaining about the ‘adoration’ of soldiers being repatriated to the UK; others praising army personnel, whilst sitting it in context of not being a fan of the army; lots of little grumblings about the military presence in Afghanistan. Now, in the spirit of fairness and free speech, I get that people are fully entitled to share their thoughts – and I *genuinely* want them to do that; I guess I just felt the need to redress the balance and offer my own commentary/thoughts on the topic. I strongly suspect that most of the people who are offering such thoughts actually have very little knowledge of what life is like for those people who choose to serve in our armed forces, or for their families that have to live with their decision to do so, whether they would want them to or not.

Last year a good friend of mine was blown up in Afghanistan; a week after he was flown back to the UK I visited him in Selly Oak in the critical care unit. I have never seen, smelt or experienced anything like it. I am used to hospitals, I’ve spent a lot of the past couple years in them; prior to that I worked in special ed with profoundly disabled kids – few smells offend me and few sights shock me. I thought I was all sorted and psyched as I went to visit Stevie but nothing could prepare me for visiting that ward. It was full of young lads missing limbs, lots of them missing multiple limbs, some very sick people fighting for their lives, for their futures. Without doubt every person on that ward has had their lives changed forever, in an instant. Something that few of us ever have to contemplate. I’ve watched my mate piece his life back together, he considers himself one of the lucky ones. A couple of operations to rebuild his knee caps and legs, a scary period where they didn’t know if they’d need to amputate one of his legs, months in splints, getting used to life in a wheelchair…six months later after intensive support at Selly Oak and Headley Court, he is back on light duties, out of a wheelchair and walking with a stick, driving, newly engaged and planning his future. Lucky without doubt.

Cpl Chris Harrison

Not everyone is as lucky though. Last week Cpl Chris Harrison was buried in his home town of Watford. Chris was a Royal Marine junior officer, he was 26 years old, married to Becky and my sister’s next door neighbour. Becky was aware of the dangers of Chris’ job but nothing can prepare you for that knock on the door. In her tribute to him she says:

“Even though I knew and fully supported what Chris did as a Royal Marine and the dangers he was facing, I am still broken by his loss. Chris was my life, he was my motivator and my inspiration, my rock, the one person with whom I shared everything. It hurts me beyond words knowing that I will never have my beloved husband by my side ever again and we will never raise the family that we so desperately craved to complete our lives together. He will forever live in my heart.”

The day that Chris was buried Becky’s facebook update talked not just of her loss, but of the loss for the other families that day – Cpl Stephen Walker was being repatriated in Wootton Basset and two further fatalities occurred in Afghanistan.

So I guess I just wanted to remind anyone who has bothered to read this far, of the reality of life for those who choose to serve in our armed forces. I guess I’d just like them to think twice before so quickly dismissing their efforts and relegating their profession. In a world where we all seem to think that technology has the solution to so many of our problems it is easy to forget that some of the solutions that we are seeking have always been there – the formal and informal support networks, the sense of community, the collective responsibility – they might not be online or tweeting their own value and worth, but I for one am very grateful for the contribution that the men and women of our armed services make that allows each and every one of us to live the life we have.

Pizza…its the conversation that makes it!

I’m not really a big pizza fan, its not something I’d ever buy in the supermarket or make at home. Up until four years ago I’d never really been that fussed about pizza. So what changed that? Well I moved to Newton Abbot and discovered The Pizza Cafe.

The Pizza Cafe is quite simply the best restaurant in Mutant and without doubt the best pizza for miles. They have been operating for 22 years, get ingredients from local suppliers, deliver locally and have a restaurant open for lunch and dinner.

My current favourites are Porkys (Westcountry pineapple and apple chutney, slow roasted Westcountry pork, caramelised onions, crispy bacon, chorizo and fire roasted yellow peppers) and Thunderball (Sweet chilli sauce, Swedish meatballs, jalapenos, red onion, peppadew and roquito sweet peppers). You can have a nose at their menu on their website – if you are into pizza there is some great inspiration there.

So, why am I waffling on about pizza? Well this blog isn’t really about pizza, it’s about social media. The pizza cafe joined twitter last September and I tweeted all my friends to tell them about it, I regularly signpost people to them, encouraged twitter friends who were coming down from Exeter to visit them and generally spread the Pizza Cafe love.

Over the past 9 months I have regularly replied to the Pizza Cafe tweets, I’ve bantered with them, I’ve sent tweets when I’ve enjoyed their goods etc and had finally got myself into a dilemma! My favourite pizza cafe had *never* replied to me; now I understand that people use twitter differently but they had got to the stage where I wanted to share the love but (drama queen alert)….I was feeling a little rejected! I love twitter, I love the idea of social networking and making those connections with people….I was struggling to keep the love when I never heard back. What was particularly strange to me was that there was lots of banter over on facestalker whenever I checked in there but I try not to these days.

So this weekend I intended to sit down and write a blog about my dilemma to get everyone’s opinion about it. Should I stop frequenting the pizza cafe (I could certainly affect their profits if I did that)? Should I go in and try to have a chat with whoever runs their twitter account? Should I just accept that some people use twitter differently? This Friday a couple of us headed in for dinner and as ever, the staff were lovely, the pizza was amazing, good evening all round.

So imagine my delight yesterday as I sat eating cold Porkys in my garden when I got a reply on twitter from the pizza cafe:

Since that tweet we’ve exchanged a couple, they were able to identify my cold Porkys from the above photo, shared the info that the pork is slow roasted for ten hours and generally just joined the conversation. So I’m delighted to be able to end this blog post with a happy ending. I’m delighted that I don’t have to start boycotting my favourite pizza cafe…although I might need to reduce my intake for waistline reasons as summer is fast approaching

The realisation I had yesterday was that we’re all still learning with social media but it all boils down to conversation. This week our organisation went live with a twitter stream on the home page of our website. I’m sure this isn’t of note for most organisations but it was a big decision for us – for that feature to work, and our partners to feel valued, we need to ensure that we work to build the conversation and that we sustain it. This is a bit of a leap of faith but I don’t feel that you can ‘learn’ social media without trial and error; we’ve sat at the edge watching for a while and now we’ve dived right in…fingers crossed everyone in my small team will join the conversation and we’ll build even stronger links with the people we work for and with. We might not have pizza on our side but conversation we should be able to manage.

Value for money?

This week I’ve been blown away by the generosity of some lovely people in my twitter stream. I asked for a £1 off people who follow me, as sponsorship for a 15k walk I’m doing next month. The Starlight Walk is a 15k stroll around Swindon, home of the famous magic roundabout, in aid of Prospect Hospice. It’s not much of a physical challenge really in itself, it’s about 10miles and I’m doing it with my mates Anna and Tracy. I suspect it will be emotionally far harder though as we’re raising funds in memory of Dan, Anna’s husband, who died in February. You can read more about Dan and why we’re doing it here and here.

So this week I was wondering how I could convince more of you to donate a £1 towards this fantastic cause, after all lots of people have read the blog post but not gone the extra step and donated a pound. So I thought I’d show you what you could get for a £1 in our local Sainsburys garage this week! You could have:

• A large yellow sponge – ideal for cleaning the car or waterfights in this weather
• A Capri-Sun drink
• A Cornish pasty (on special offer this week – grab them while you can)
• A tin of tomatoes

So there you have it, four things you could get for a pound. Great, but none of them are life changing!

Alternatively you could donate a pound to Prospect, for that pound you’d be helping one of the 1,400 people who they provide care to each year. Prospect provide support to people in their own homes, in hospital, in care homes or in their hospice; the support is life changing for those who are ill and also for their family and friends. It makes all the difference, really.

If everyone who reads this blog post donates a pound then I know we could reach our target of £500 for Prospect….I’ve got 35 days left until I walk 15k, please please please help by donating, just a pound. Thank you.

You can donate on the Virgin Money Giving site here http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/team/TeamDanDan or if you live outside the UK or prefer to use Just Giving then you can also donate here http://www.justgiving.com/team-dandan.

Thank you for your support. Big thanks to @markbigsw @dalekdoctor @fergusbisset @amcunningham @rufflemuffin @irishandrew @soundgirl64 @alpew @sarknight @juniorc0 @jeanetteleech @hen4 @segelstrom @tomarse99, Joe and anonymous x3

Fortune

Thought I’d share some fortune cookie wisdom with you.

Is worth remembering methinks. That and my fave Margaret Mead quote:

Never underestimate the power of a few committed people to change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.

Lecture over….carry on….nothing to see here

Legacy?

I was away last week when the final episode of Young, Autistic and Stagestruck was shown on Channel 4 – you can still catch it on 4OD. This series followed nine young people with autism as they worked together to put on a play – you can read about the two previous episodes here and here.

The final episode focused on preparations for their show and culminated in the performance. An outstanding achievement by all that took part – the young people, the directors, choreographers, drama therapist, care team, their parents, family and friends.

When I sat down to watch the first episode of this series I was blown away by the magnitude of the task they were undertaking; but also immediately had concerns about what the experience would mean for those taking part – not just in terms of the actual day-to-day challenges but more in terms of legacy – or lack of it! Nearly all of the young people or their parents profiled in the show talked about feelings of isolation and loneliness, the struggles they face, the fear of failure or of making mistakes. Yet here was an opportunity for them to work with other young people, who they could relate to and at some level who they understood, to create a masterpiece. Young people, hormones, shared challenge, friendships, freedom and expression, stage fright, love of the audience – fairly powerful stuff at the best of times, perhaps doubly so if you are sensitive to stimulation. It was always going to lead to highs and lows for all those involved.

Jonathan, reflecting on his experience, states:

I guess I’m sad that we have to leave and it’s going to be all over. This was a fantastic experience and I just feel better in myself than I used to feel knowing that I’m not alone.

His mum comments that on a day to day basis he’d been the  happiest that she had ever seen him. It wasn’t clear from the programme what support was available to the young people and their families as the experience ended….but the final shot before the credits stated that all the families had kept in touch.

This got me thinking about my recent struggles with jet lag and a general lethargy I had to re-engage with my life when I returned from my holiday; it reminded me of being a teenager who went off to my first guide camp, had an amazing fortnight and then suffered from what my mum dubbed ‘post-camp blues’ for the following month where I pretty much struggled with no longer being part of something bigger, with not having my mates around me, and with having to face the reality of returning to school.

I really hope that there was ongoing support for these young people to readjust to life away from this experience. Those feelings of ‘being part of something’ are so strong it would seem essential to me that there was some ongoing legacy and structure for dealing with the inevitable come down and losing that sense of belonging. Something that is particularly acute for some of these young people who have already previous experience of being excluded from school and their friendship circles.

This whole question of legacy is a far broader one than just support in this instance. How do we structure support so that people do not become dependent on it? Better still how do we structure it so that the support can be withdrawn and the individual’s and their community can provide the support for each other? How do we genuinely build capacity in these situations?

Primum non nocere – first, do no harm

I guess this all boils down to essentially being a matter of ethics, motivation and intervention – there is more of a discussion about that over on @fergusbisset’s blog – check out the comments from Sarah (@rufflemuffin) and myself for more about this! Ferg’s post was discussing motivation and design thinking but I think the issue is of equal importance for those providing support or intervention in the shape of services, as much as those who are questioning how services are designed and developed. What is our motivation in the first place? How do we ensure that the person receiving services are central to them? How do we support the young people involved in this venture to design, control, and participate while also ensuring that we leave a genuine, lasting legacy once the curtain falls for the final time?

I look forward to hearing your thoughts on this

Help please…I need a £1

Help please, I need your help.

No really, I could *really* do with your help. My friend Dan died in February, he was 37. We buried him the day after Valentine’s Day. He left behind his wife, Anna and his young daughter Liv. You can read more and see Dan in a previous blog post here.

On the eve of what would have been Dan and Anna’s first wedding anniversary, Anna, her sister Tracy and myself will be walking 15k around Swindon to raise funds for Prospect Hospice where Dan spent the last weeks of his life. Prior to being admitted to Prospect Dan had been at home, with Anna, his parents, her parents and family and friends trying to provide the required support. He had been in and out of hospital and the strain on him and those closest to him was palpable. I am sure that there are few things harder in life than caring for someone who is so close to you, not knowing how long they have left, and just hoping that you are doing things right. The fabulous support from Prospect allowed his wife, daughter and family and friends to be just that in his final days…his family and friends, not his carers.

So this is where you come in….one pound, a euro, a dollar. More if you can afford it but just one would make an amazing difference. I have 611 followers (I’m sure that number will drop in the coming days now) on twitter; five of them have very generously started the ball rolling, I’d be really very VERY grateful if a couple hundred more of them were able to afford just £1. It would make all the difference to reaching our £500 target. None of us know when we’ll require the type of support that Prospect provide – I hope your family and friends never will – but I know the difference any size donation can make. Please give what you can afford http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/team/TeamDanDan

** Some people reported difficulties donation on the VirginMoney site so I’ve also created a JustGiving page. If someone would like to start the £1 ball rolling I’d be delighted http://www.justgiving.com/team-dandan **

Thank you.

A proper tea

I’ve been really loving coffee lately. This isn’t a new thing; in fact I suspect the only thing I’ve ever been addicted to is coffee!

Therefore I consider myself a recovered/recovering (do you ever confidently recover from anything in life? That’s a post for another time) coffee addict. So take it as read that I love coffee and I particularly love the sociable nature of going for coffee with friends. I put that out there because I don’t want coffee lovers thinking I’m ‘not one of them’ if there any of them reading!

I also love tea though. Where I live tea shops can be found in far greater number than coffee shops…which if I’m honest are still a little exotic! I was musing to myself this week that what London lacks is tea shops! You can barely stroll a couple hundred yards in the big smoke without finding a coffee shop but tea shops seem a little harder to come by. So imagine my delight when @niccombe and I met for coffee one evening this week and she suggested going for tea instead. She introduced me to the delight that is Yumchaa and we went for a cuppa in their shop in Soho which can be found at 45 Berwick Street. Nic had a pot of Lemon Sherbert which smelt absolutely divine; I plumped for Assam and we shared a chocolate brownie.

I really enjoyed the couple hours we sat in this teashop, it was incredibly civilised, we chatted for ages and at no point did I feel that we were overstaying our welcome (we did get a second pot of tea each but even so…). Obviously Nic’s company was fantastic, but I don’t think it was just that; there was just something extra special for me about Yumchaa.

Yesterday I had the pleasure of meeting up with @chrish10 at the same place and can confirm that there was consistency to their good service, lovely atmosphere and an additional bonus, complimentary wifi, making it a strong contender for my new London office! Eat @ Paddington has that honour at the moment but suspect the absence of pigeons, together with all the above, means that Yumchaa is now my remote office of choice

They also have two shops in Camden and market stalls dotted around the place and you can buy tea from their website. Well worth a dabble I tell ye.

A Proper Tea is much nicer than a Very Nearly Tea, which is one you forget about afterwards – A.A.Milne

The kindness of strangers

I have always depended on the kindness of strangers –  Tennessee Williams

How often do we hear good news or good stories that involve strangers? How often are we suspicious or wary of strangers; or indifferent to them? How often do we hear horror stories in the press about people being attacked unprovoked by strangers or something equally horrid (extremes admittedly). Every now and again we might hear a story about a stranger pulling someone to safety from a fire or lake or something but these are extreme examples too, this time of ‘good stranger behaviour’…my new term for it!

Anyhow, there is a point here somewhere. This week I’ve had four kind strangers in my life all of whom exhibited good stranger behaviour (it’s kinda catchy that term don’t you think?). All of these strangers did small things that made a disproportionately significant difference to my day/week/mood.

1) Stranger One saw me struggling up the steps of a tube station with a large case and offered to carry it up for me. I declined his offer and struggled on but was really grateful that he asked. When I was a child we’d often go walking on Dartmoor and my dad’s view was always that if you were taking a bag of stuff with you, you had to be able to carry it the whole way…and if you couldn’t you shouldn’t take it and you probably didn’t need it anyway. I chuckle to myself whenever I lug my case around nowadays….and insist on lugging it upstairs myself with my dad’s words ringing in my head

2) Stranger Two was a white van man! I was walking to a workshop we were holding in a venue I’d not been to before and was trying to juggle my work phone (with a pdf map open on it) and my personal phone (with google maps on it)…and a coffee too. I had my cardigan slung through the straps of my handbag and as I was walking down the street a man in a white van started beeping his horn…loudly…and insistently. He then pointed behind me and I realised I’d dropped my cardigan a  little way back. A small thing but he didn’t need to point it out (and he could have given up after the first toot) and I’d have been gutted if I’d only realised when I got to the venue minus my cardigan.

3) Stranger Three was an elderly lady who was sat opposite me in a coffee shop. I received a text from a friend that just upset me a little; I was in a bit of a wobbly mood anyway, but this lovely woman obviously clocked my reaction to reading it and leant over a couple minutes later and asked if I was ok….I reassured her everything was fine. About ten minutes later she got up to leave and she came over to me on her way out, squeezed my arm and just said ‘don’t worry my love, it’ll all turn out alright in the end, life has a funny habit of making that happen’.

I thought that was so lovely, she didn’t probe or hang around for a response, and it wasn’t that major anyway…but I can’t help thinking that few of us would interfere with a strangers business like that, but it really made me feel lots better!

4) Stranger Four was another tube example….I was racing to get onto a tube and got my massive case half stuck in and out the train door. You know that moment when the beeps start to say the doors are about to close and squash whatever is in their way….it just raises my adrenalin levels and doesn’t help my concentration at all. As I was struggling to grab the handle on my case and lift it in, a very cool teenager complete with tattoos on his neck and a hoodie just brushed past me, grabbed the case and lifted it in for me. I thanked him and he just shrugged it off, a bit embarrassed by my gratitude but as he got off he smiled and gave me a nod

So there you have it, four examples of small things that strangers did for me this week that I wanted to share with you guys. I’m fed up of hearing the negative attitude that is around at the moment. I’m hoping that by writing this post others might be able to add their examples of ‘good stranger behaviour’ or just simple acts of kindness. I guess I hope it also stands as a reminder that all of our actions can have a greater impact than we know at any one time – never underestimate the impact of a kind thought or deed.

Photo by Ganesha_Isis who you can find on twitter @GaneshaIsis

Meet Erin…she’s inspirational!

On Sunday Erin Kennedy ran a marathon.

I don’t know about you but I’m *always* impressed by anyone who runs a marathon…or for that matter walks a marathon…or runs a half marathon…or walks a half marathon…or runs a 10k; I’ll stop, you get the picture. Those of you who swing by here occasionally will be well familiar with my struggles to motivate myself to get outside and run.

So why am I blogging about Erin and who is she anyway? Well, the thing is I don’t really know too much about Erin! I’ve never met her, she’s not been on twitter long (but you can find her here) and she’s also a relative newbie to blogging (you can find her blog here).

What I do know is as follows:

• she has a penchant for 80 music…come on, who doesn’t
• she is the Youth Olympic Games Young Ambassador for USA
• she plays rugby
• she likes breakfast…especially pancakes
• she has just run a marathon.

Not very much really.

So for me it’s all the more impressive that she’s managed to inspire me to register for the Cardiff Half Marathon in October. I was toying with it already but there was something about Erin’s description of her marathon that convinced me I would be able to do it (it’s not so much about the physical side of it, more the mental side….dare I say fear of failure or risk of making a mistake?). So its all in your head… there really are no excuses except your own.

I guess ultimately it’s nearly always a mental battle, as most things in life are. As my Dad is always ready to remind me, it’s all about the PMA (positive mental attitude for those of you without a Bobby J in your lives)! I’m not for a minute wanting to take away from the immense physical accomplishment of Erin’s race, more wishing to acknowledge her grit and determination. Go say hi, check out her blog post and see if you’re not inspired too

…and if anyone wants to join me in Cardiff you know where to find me – here or on twitter @georgejulian.

…and if anyone wants to know more about the Youth Olympics take a look at their site or talk to Great Britain’s very own young ambassador, @fergusbisset – you can meet Fergus over on youtube or check out his blog here.