A letter to my niece on her third birthday

Dear Libbie,

I’m writing this the week after you turned three. Three whole years you’ve spent on this planet and what a three years they’ve been. I often use you as one of the reasons I started blogging, so it felt natural to write this as a letter blog post to you, so one day you may read it, but I’m hoping your mummy reads it too because I’ve something to share with her.

Three years you arrived into our lives, the long awaited and much loved first-born grandchild for Grandma and Grandad. My first niece or nephew. You took me by surprise right from day one, I didn’t expect to feel such a connection to you. If I’m honest Libster I was a little worried I’d be a bit rubbish as an aunt, not too interested, there have been so many little people in my life and I’d began to realise that I probably didn’t want my own family, but nothing could prepare me for what I felt for you. It was different to any connection I’ve had before. It was almost animal, when I held you for the first time I knew that I’d do anything for you. Maybe this is what love, true love, really is – an instant, physical, visceral connection easily induced for one so little and helpless, and one who at some subconscious level I know is one of my own.

In some ways I think it’s quite selfish, driven by ego almost. I watch you, your mannerisms, character, willfulness and I see me, a little Georgie! I love that, I love your spirit, your determination, your questioning. I love the fact that you are as happy dressed as a pirate as minnie mouse! I love watching you with your little sister. It’s ace having one, there will no doubt be times when she is a complete pain, she’ll irk you and irritate you but trust me there are few things as comforting in life as knowing you’re never really on your own, you’ve always got your siblings around to rely on if you need to. You’re doing a great job as a big sister, never doubt that!

So what can I share with you Libbie? I’ve listed ten things, there are more, these might not even be the most important things but they’re want came to mind:

1) Never, ever, let people tell you that you can’t do something because you’re a girl. You can do anything that you want to if you work hard enough. You can succeed and achieve if you believe, so don’t listen to people who say no.

2) Never stop asking questions – as you get older people play this trick on you where they suggest asking questions is dumb because it let’s on that you don’t know something. That’s ok, in fact it’s more than ok, it’s essential. People who pretend to have all the answers are just pretending. Even your teachers and your Mum and Dad sometimes.

3) Have fun and play lots – play with the dolls, babies and prams, but play with the lego, football and swords too. Dress up, pretend, make believe and discover. Play often and when you get older make time to play, life can be a lot of fun but sometimes it’s easy to forget that if you work too hard. Don’t take things too seriously.

4) Trust Grandma – if you ever need anything, or want to share something, or don’t know who to talk to then trust Grandma. Your Daddy will tell you a (true) story about Grandma talking to the fish the night you were born which makes her sound quite mad. So, ok, if you need to know about fish ask someone else but anything else ask Grandma.

5) Offer your opinion but don’t forget your manners – life is easier when people work together, sometimes people are shy about offering their opinion, sometimes it can be easier not to. It’s up to you but never forget your manners, and sometimes it helps to ask if someone wants to know what you think before you offer it! Remember also that some people offer their opinion silently by doing, some people communicate differently, there are many people who are more quiet than us and it’s important that we listen to what they have to say.

6) You can be friends with boys and girls – at some point in your life people will suggest that you can’t really be best friends with a boy, don’t worry this probably won’t happen for a few years yet. Never forget Harry and what fun you’ve had together and don’t let anyone tell you not to be friends with boys. It’s an old fashioned thing that some people haven’t let go of yet. Be friends with the people who make you feel best about yourself irrespective of their gender, age, nationality, sexuality – it’s all nonsense!

7) Don’t worry about what to do when you grow up – when I was growing up people were always nagging me to decide what I wanted to be as a grown up, I never knew. Sometimes I wanted to be a Blue Peter presenter, others a skip lorry driver, at times a special education teacher – I never did any of those, and I’m still not sure what to do when I grow up and I’m ten times older than you, so don’t worry about it. You’ll make good decisions when they come along.

8) Respect your Mum and Dad  - Auntie Georgie hasn’t got what it takes to be a parent, it’s really one of the hardest jobs in the world and your Mum and Dad are doing it brilliantly. The strange thing is that most jobs have long periods of training and preparation, people go to university or college, they study and get help to be good at it – there isn’t too much support for being a mummy, no-one gives you a certificate or tells you how well you’re doing. I guess you kind of have to figure it out as you go along, which must be very scary, especially when all of a sudden there are two of you. I am so proud of your Mum, she has worked so hard and she’s one of the bestest mummies out there. Remember that when she frustrates you or tells you no or insists that you sleep all night!

9) Wear hats – the secret to wearing hats is believing that you look good in them Libs. I don’t think you can have too many hats, they are a great talking point and they’re practical too, Grandad would always say that 90% of your heat goes out the top of your head, so wear hats, be confident, believe you look good and other people will believe it too.

10) Be friendly and love freely – this will probably seem a bit obvious. Life is much better if you’re friendly, look out for people, share your friendship and love. As you get older you might find some people aren’t what you hoped they were, some people might let you down, don’t take it personally. It’s not worth worrying about. The strange thing is if you worry too much, and try to protect yourself from being hurt, you miss out on so much in life. Don’t worry about being hurt, or losing friends, be friendly and kind and people will be good back. You’ll hear about lots of nasty and scary things in life but most people are good, and most things are positive.

So there you go some thoughts as you enter your next year. I hope this one is as much fun as the last three.

Lots and lots of love,

Auntie Georgie

xxx

Ten top tips for new bloggers

I tweeted today that it was my three year blogging anniversary and Sarah Carr sent this tweet:

140 characters would not suffice for such a question so this blog post is for Sarah, and anyone else who is interested. I hope you find it useful and I’d welcome your feedback, comments and own suggestions.

1. There are no rules

It’s your blog so you make the rules. There are scores of articles out there about how and what to blog, about what will get the most attention, but I think it’s a very personal choice. Why you blog and who you are aiming your blog at are very personal choices. In the spirit of top tip number one, what follows are suggestions, ideas and thoughts – they’re straw men that I’ve put up hoping people will debate, engage with, pull apart and disagree with. I’m not saying this is how, or why, anyone should blog, I’m just offering a few pointers as a starter for ten. Blogging is a bit like swimming, you won’t really get it until you jump in the pool and give it a go.

2. Ask yourself why

If you are thinking of starting blogging consider why. I’d suggest that the best reason is because you want to and the absolute worse are because you think you should, or someone has told you to, or you’re worried that you’re missing out. In my opinion you are missing out, but that in itself is not reason to start! My blog is a personal mish mash of thoughts, ideas and experiences. I blog about anything that takes my fancy so it is a very mixed bag. That seems to work, a lot of my visitors are one offs, I don’t really have a regular readership although 35 people are subscribed to my blog so someone somewhere must be interested.

3. Blogging should be a pleasure and not a chore

This is one of the biggest mistakes I see people new to blogging make, and I suspect that is why there are so many blogs out there with only two or three posts. Take the pressure off, now, stop viewing it as a task that needs done and consider it as a pleasure. I try to treat my blog as an online repository of what has interested me or intrigued me. It is not something I feel that I *must* do. When I started out I felt obliged to blog regularly, and arguably it’s a good habit to get into, but if i felt I had to blog every week it would remove the pleasure of it for me. Horses for courses so to speak (not a burger reference), if routine and structure works for you then by all means schedule your blogging, but personally I much prefer blogging when I feel like it.

4. Try not to overthink it

An extension of the last point really, and one that is much harder to do than suggest. My preference is for blog posts that offer a view, usually with some sort of base in evidence (or occasionally anecdote). I like it when bloggers cite their sources so I can trace back and get more information if I want it. That said my personal preference is that a blog post isn’t written like an academic paper or a formal report. I want it to be an easy read and so when I’m blogging I try to bear this in mind and I try to keep my own posts suitably light, while providing additional information if I can.

5. Tag

Most people write to be read. Tagging helps with this enormously because it allows search engines to find your content and send people your way.

6. Images and visuals

I always try to include at least one image or visual in each of my posts. Again this is personal preference I’m a visual learner and aesthetics are important to me, so I try to include images where possible. Since I’ve been blogging I find myself engaging with visuals far more, I take more photos and sometimes spot things and go out of my way to capture it because I know it will come in useful to illustrate a blog post at some stage. With the rise of Pinterest and Scoopit and other platforms that curate content with an emphasis on visuals, this need is probably a growing one.

7. The platform is not as important as the content

I don’t know much about this to be honest. I started blogging with WordPress and have found it straight forward and easy to use, so I have stayed with them. I’m not sure that the platform is as important as the content although I suspect people who blog for more professional reasons or to make money from it will have a different view? Hopefully this one will get picked up in the comments.

8. Remember once it’s out there it’s there for an eternity

Possibly an obvious one this one but if you put something on the internet it stays there, even if you delete it. Basic rules, mind your manners, don’t blog anything unless you’re happy for your mum and/or your boss to read it. Think before you hit publish.

9. Engage, engage, engage without over promoting

This is the crux of it for me. I blog so that I can share an experience, thought or idea, but the real value comes from the discussion or engagement with it. So I really *really* welcome comments and links back to my blog. I always try to cross reference and link people to other people’s content and blog posts too. That said, there is nothing worse than someone who is constantly shouting about their new blog posts. It’s a hard balance to hit and one that is important – you want the world to know you’ve blogged, because you want engagement and discussion, but you don’t want to be one of those people who is always self-promoting. Well maybe you do, in which case tip number one – it’s your shout, there are no rules; but if you don’t then maybe tweet your blog post when it’s first available, and then I have a rule of three, I never tweet about the same post more than three times – even if I know I’d appreciate input from people. I just hope that it will come to their attention.

10. Start thinking like a blogger and enjoy it

This is an extension of the point in tip six, in the same way that I wander through life now with an increased awareness of images that would support a blog post, I’m also always subconsciously tuned into look for content that would form the basis of a good post. An article, report, video or tweet that I think would warrant more attention. I have a massive long list of blog posts that I may one day get around to writing because of this, but I really have learnt to live tip three, so I’ll get there eventually and if I don’t the world wont stop turning. The absolute most important thing for me is to enjoy blogging, the connections I make and the discussion it promotes.

So on that note…..I’d love your comments and thoughts.

Five things I wish I knew when my Dad was diagnosed with cancer

Back in the summer I wrote a post ‘Five things I wish I knew when I collected my A-Level results‘ and it got a great response; that response could have been because it was topical, because it was blunt, because it was a ‘five things’ rather than a deep ramble about one thing, or maybe just because there was something useful in it. I particularly liked the format – so I thought I’d repeat it here and share five things that in hindsight I wish I’d known when my Dad was diagnosed with bile duct cancer (cholangiocarcinoma) five years ago. I know it wont generate the same reaction as the last post but I hope that it might be useful for someone, somewhere. Disclaimer: as ever it’s written from my perspective as someone whose Dad is terminally ill, this isn’t necessarily what my Dad would think at all!

1. A cancer diagnosis changes your life, and the life of those who love you, in an instant but it’s not all doom and gloom

Cancer, the word is just so harsh in your mouth, leaves a kind of after taste. I wasn’t blogging at the time my Dad was diagnosed with cancer but if I had been I’m sure I’d have talked about the shock of it (Dad was a recently retired, fit and healthy, non-smoker, very rare drinker who had a good diet and ticked all the right boxes for a long, happy and healthy retirement) and how finite, gloomy and hard it felt. Quite simply it’s not fair. There were many emotions, inequity and anger were high on the list; there was very little to feel happy or content about – especially with such poor odds, there were no happy stories of recovery; it felt like someone had shut a big door and locked us all into a prison cell of cancer – and we were thrown into it together. That said, that technicolour experience and heightened awareness extends to the good times too; I’ve found myself appreciating the things that really matter, feeling grateful at the start of each day (when you’re not just feeling exhausted – see point two), making important decisions and really questioning whether you’re living your life in the best way you could. It has also meant that causes for celebration, a wedding, new baby, even a funeral, are really savoured, I really find myself grateful for the focus that Dad’s cancer has given us all. Life just feels that much more real, the good as well as the bad.

2. You can spend a long time living/dying (delete as you see appropriate)

My Dad has fought hard to stay alive, that’s the only way I can describe it, a long, thoughtful and determined fight. He knows that he is dying, he knows that his body is fighting itself, he also knows that we all have the greatest admiration for the way he has approached this experience – at least I hope he does. The thing I wanted to touch on though is that you can spend a long time engaged in this battle, or dance, pick which ever metaphor works for you. The cancer becomes the focus at the centre of everything and its exhausting, it’s always present for everyone, not just the person with it. I can’t remember the last time I made a decision and didn’t consider cancer within it; big decisions like quitting my job, moving where I live, disappearing on an adult gap year to find myself (two of these have not yet, and may never, come to fruition) but also more everyday ones like whether to book a holiday or weekend away; whether or not to have a drink tonight or being ever ready to jump in my car and head to their house; whether to walk to the train station or drive so my car is there if I return in a hurry etc etc etc

That level of focus, pervasive focus, is hard to live with. You don’t get much time off from it, I’m sure a lot depends on personality and approach to life but cancer has been ever present for over five years now. For many of those years it has felt like death was imminent, just lurking around the corner ready to pounce. Dad has had a number of episodes where he has recovered from very serious surgery, infections, complications, treatment side effects, there have been so many times when I thought he wouldn’t live much longer. The key learning for me has been the importance of staying connected, of trying to find down time, of recharging and in hindsight there are holidays I wish I’d taken, choices I may have made differently, I perhaps would have been more selfish if I’d known Dad would live as long as he has, but mostly I’d have stocked up on energy in the early days so I had more to draw on now.

3. Take a wallet with change for the parking machines and leave it in your glove compartment

OK, simple one this one, and it only really applies if you’re a driver, but I can’t tell you how much stress was caused arriving at hospital (sometimes because things had deteriorated, sometimes as an emergency, many times as a visitor) only to discover I didn’t have the right change for the parking meter. It took me months to actually get around to addressing this proactively and removing this stress from my life by getting myself a parking wallet! There are also other practical things that make life easier, I keep PJs and a change of clothes at my parent’s house for unanticipated overnight stays, I had a wash bag and new outfit in the boot of my car for the best part of two years – ever ready for the unexpected.

4. It’s a game of chance not science

Sometimes I still can’t quite get my head around this. Years ago if someone said cancer my thoughts and word association would have been: white coat, laboratory, science, macmillan, no hair, chemo drip, death, something like that, all quite clinical I guess (possibly due to my undeveloped and over simplified understanding of science). Now if someone says cancer things are quite different, I’ve realised that it really is a game of chance a lot of the time, one of the images would probably be a handful of dice. That’s not to denigrate the work of the amazing people who have cared for Dad and treated his cancer, but it’s to acknowledge that even with the amazing advances of science, and phenomenally dedicated, passionate and knowledgeable staff, a lot of the time there is no certainty, no science, it’s a more complex and natural equation. There are few certainties, it is impossible to know how Dad’s body will react to the treatment given, how long he has left, how many more times he can fight back from a brink – life, cancer, his treatment really is more personalised than I’d imagined, and with that it is impossible to know or find certainty. So the easiest thing is to accept that these gods and gurus, the consultants, specialist nurses, oncologists, surgeons, healthcare assistants, hospice workers, who offer so much are just mortal like the rest of us, and they can not provide certainty, so I’ve tried hard to stop seeking it.

5. People are inherently kind and good and support will come from the least expected places

Finally, it’s what it says really. My Dad’s experience of cancer and the impact it has had on my life has reassured me of one thing above all others, that people are inherently good and kind. Some people want to fix things, some want to ignore it, some will discuss it and want gory details, others will disappear from your life quicker than Usain Bolt could run 100m, some will emerge from the shadows of distant relationships, some people will find you and new friendships will forge at a really difficult time. My friends, family, twitter network, colleagues have been amazing, not all but on balance most, and the good far outweigh the bad (who aren’t actually bad they just have their own reasons for not wanting to deal with cancer/you/life/death right now).

At times knowing someone you love, who loves you unconditionally, is living with or dying from a serious illness can be overwhelming. It’s quite a challenging thing to face up to and live with. It impacts on nearly everything. I only make plans now with people who I know will understand if I break them at the last minute, I’ve been a fairly rubbish friend (not to mention girlfriend) over the last few years and the last couple of months especially. My capacity has been stretched to a point that I didn’t know it could reach without snapping. It has been, and continues to be, one of life’s biggest adventures and I am beyond grateful to all of the people who make it an exciting and uplifting adventure and not a dark, tragic, disaster movie.

If you are reading this because someone you love has just been diagnosed with cancer, or any other serious illness, know that it’s not all bad. It is unbelievably hard at times, but it is also amazingly rewarding. I wouldn’t wish cancer on anyone but I am humbled by the experience, the support and the learning that has come from this crappy situation. Find people who are positive, look for the good and remember you are never alone…and it’s perfectly OK to have bad days/weeks/months, just surround yourself with people who will walk with you until the good days come bouncing back.

It takes time

A couple weeks ago I had the pleasure of being on holiday in Beitostølen in Norway. I’ll do a post holiday reflection blog another time, but suspect it’ll be broadly similar to last year’s – which you can read here if you’re interested.

In this post I wanted to share some sage advice that I was generously given by the man in the photos. On Tuesday of my holiday, feeling somewhat bruised (physically and psychologically having tried my skis on for the first time the day before), I decided to go for a walk after lunch – following the cross country route I wanted to ski the next day. This had two advantages, firstly I could see where I was going so I knew what to expect the next day, and secondly if I followed the tracks I couldn’t get lost.

I was on my way down to have a nose at the hut in the first picture when I saw a sight I’ve never seen before, a man skiing with a sausage dog under his arm. I smiled, took a couple of photos and marvelled to myself at his ability to ski and carry a dog. Seriously impressive stuff. The man and his dogs made their way off down the track and I went to have a nose around the hut, before making my way in the general direction of Beitostølen Stadium.

About an hour later I came across the same man, and his dogs, on their way back from their ski (it really is a novel way to walk a dog). This time we stopped to have a chat, he asked if I was pleased with my photos, I explained I was, we commented on what a beautiful day it was and I admired his skiing ability – sharing with him that I’d been incredibly impressed to see him skiing and carrying his dog. He explained that the doggy was getting on, and too slow, to walk the whole lot – I laughed and made a joke about my poor skiing ability and how I hoped one day to be able to ski and carry a dog, or perhaps more helpfully carry a camera without fear of damaging it. He looked me right in the eye and simply said, ‘Don’t worry, it takes time’.

I’m not sure whether he meant learning and perfecting skiing ability takes time, or whether he meant stopping to take photos takes time. Either way it became a mantra for me throughout the rest of the week as I struggled to give myself permission to make mistakes, to need to take time to improve my ability to stand upright, and harder still to bring myself to a dignified stop.

I thought I’d share it with you guys, I think it’s a great lesson for life, especially if you’re getting impatient with the lack of progress in a situation, as a wise man on skis carrying a dog once said ‘It takes time’.

Crowdsourced twitter stories

At lunchtime today we had a meeting at work to discuss social media, with a particular focus on twitter. I met with a few colleagues in December and showed them how to use twitter, I wrote a post about it here and at the time asked people for their advice, which I had intended to write up in another post. Life took over and I never wrote the post, so today I asked the twittersphere some further questions (see above) and the responses are as follows.

What’s the point of twitter?

> What’s the point of talking? – @MartinHowitt

> What’s the point of talking, what’s the point of having a view and expressing it? – @Mikey3982

> Point of twitter, from the opinion of a young person:https://twitter.com/#!/DocNicola/status/162562761103114242 - via @JeremyPearson

What would you never do?

> Game follower numbers - @MartinHowitt

What twitter mistake do you most regret?

> Using the wrong account – @Phillirose

> Getting into pointless debates - @MartinHowitt

> Biggest twitter mistake was not getting something that was a joke and responding to it seriously @NursingTimes carving turkey! – @HelenHSAUK

What’s your favourite twitter success/outcome?

> Connecting with people over time, leading to mutual referrals over work/play – @phillirose

> Greeted last night at fab @jaimeelewis @HelenHSAUK #personalisation book launch as if everyone KNEW me! – @whoseshoes

> Meeting great tweeps offline. They know who they are - @MartinHowitt

> Almost all my current and ongoing work has it’s roots in a Twitter conversation. Weapon of choice! - @NatAltDesign

> Best twitter wins I have had are with solutions to ongoing technical failures. They need addressing, and publicly. Handy. – @zerosandones

So there you have it, the wisdom of the crowd. I’ve not got an awful lot to add, I’m shoulder to shoulder with everyone, especially Martin H, for me twitter is an opportunity to connect and chat – why not. I’ve met some amazing people, some I’ve not yet met in person, some I have, and I’m confident that many more are out there to connect with. If you’re new to twitter, don’t worry too much, jump in and see where it gets you.

You’ll notice that the successes and points of twitter far outnumber the mistakes and what not to do – so just have a go, we’re a friendly bunch.

Why I’ll raise your parking fine with some feedback!

I spent last weekend in Wales and had a great time….all except the small matter of dragging myself out of bed on Saturday morning to pay for on-street parking in Cardiff, before then receiving a parking ticket for parking #arrrrrgh as apparently they couldn’t see my ticket.

I can’t begin to tell you how annoying that was, or the fact that if I’d known the fine for not buying a ticket was £50 (with 50% discount bringing it down to £25 if paid in 2 weeks) given how knackered I was I might have actually paid that £25 for a lie in, rather than get out of bed before 8am and still pay £4 and now have to write a letter and buy a stamp. I have written to Cardiff Council Parking Services to challenge the fine I received, and to provide feedback…detailed below.

I’ll let you know how I get on, but I was just wondering if anyone knows what your legal rights are if I have the ticket and believe it could be seen, but they claim they can not see it? Any thoughts very welcome.

Dear Cardiff Council Parking Services

Ref: QC11033190

I received a PCN while parked in Newport Road Lane, Adamsdown on 21 January 2012. I am writing to challenge this PCN as I had purchased a ticket on this date at 8am and it was visible on my dashboard. I have enclosed the original ticket and PCN.

I also wish to provide three pieces of feedback, in the spirit of making this a useful exercise for us both!

1)    It may be easier for your Civil Enforcement Officers to notice tickets if they had adhesive on them so that they could be stuck to windscreens rather than placed on the dashboard

2)    It would be easier for customers to pay, and for your CEOs to check payment, if you moved to a text based/technology enhanced payment service

3)    It would be a far better service experience if you were able to pay the previous night for early morning parking. I arrived in Cardiff at 8pm, but the machine would not allow me to pay for the next morning’s parking (despite the chargeable period for Friday having passed), therefore I had to get out of bed to buy my ticket – only then to receive a PCN.

I look forward to hearing from you in relation to my PCN being nullified, and I hope that my feedback is helpful.

I need new knives – recommendations please!

This coming year I’m determined to do more cooking, and eat more fresh food. I used to really enjoy cooking, and have got far too lazy of late, never home from work early enough to both cooking. Well all this is going to change, pasta and pesto is no more a staple, it will instead be replaced by healthier, home cooked delights. To help me along with this mission I’ve decided I need some better knives – so I either need to sharpen the ones I have, or buy new. I asked Twitter for recommendations and thought I’d share the answers with you guys and ask for any more advice or opinions you have to offer.

(cc) on flickr by JD Hancock

Any Sharp Knife Sharpener £8.49 on Amazon and Chinese chopping knife from @davidandrew52

Wusthof from @amcunningham

Global or Titan from @scotbaston

Taylor’s Eye Witness Block from @niccombe

I’d be really interested in anyone else’s opinions or ideas for good knives to get. I’ve owned my own home for over five years now, definitely time to invest in a decent knife or two!

The truly awesome photo (well I loved it) is a creative commons offering on flickr. The photo was taken by @JDHancock and you can view the complete Little Dudes set here.

Further Recommendations:

Sabatier knives, plus 1 extra giant big one and Mino Sharp Sharpener from @annkempster

Jean-Patrique from @lillieputian

Globals plus advice to spend as much time and attention on sharpener/sharpening as knives from @paul_clarke

10 twitter hints and tips for newbies

Yesterday I had my lunch with a few colleagues from work who were interested in learning a little more about twitter, what it is, how to use it, how not to, have a play around and ask questions of someone who might have answers. I really enjoyed the hour, and was struck by some of the questions they asked – which were completely great, and reminded me of how complicated and possibly overwhelming it can be to first discover twitter.

This morning I had a conversation with @PeterWanless who is today celebrating his three year twitter anniversary; apparently I was one of the first people to help Peter get to grips with understanding twitter, so I thought I’d spend lunch today throwing together some hints and tips that might be of use to anyone who is three days in, rather than three years in. I hope what follows is of interest, would be really interested in your feedback, and any additional hints and tips.

1) There are no rules

Lots of people have ways and means of using twitter that work for them. The reality is that there are no rules. There are ideas and suggestions, but definitely no rules. So please do read, digest, act on or discard any of what follows, they’re just ideas, for twitter to be of use it needs to work for you, so make your own rules!

2) You don’t need to read it all

Someone asked yesterday how I kept on top of my twitterstream and I realised that I take it as a given that I don’t! I assume popular items will be retweeted lots, thereby appearing in my stream regularly, but I definitely miss more than I catch on twitter at the moment. I tend to check twitter when the kettle is boiling/coffee is brewing in the morning, nearly always pop on at lunch, and have a scan early evening – but I definitely don’t read it all.

3) Nothing is private

Yes, you can have private accounts, and you can direct message (DM) someone, however, I’d stick with the assumption that anything that goes online could come back to haunt you! If you wouldn’t say it to your mum, or your boss, you probably shouldn’t share it with twitter. That said I do have private conversations via DM, confident in the knowledge that if they were ever found to be public, the context is what’s key – and it is an intentionally private conversation.

4) Following people is key

Twitter is a safe, but lonely place, of you aren’t following anyone. In fact if you aren’t following anyone you’ll see nothing. It is quite unlike any other network I’ve been involved with, the beauty of twitter for me is that you can connect with complete strangers, without asking their permission, or without trying to find a tenuous connection. I heard it recently described as like swimming, you don’t get it until you jump in – so just try.

5) Don’t be too self conscious, engage in the conversation 

Not dissimilar to the last point, in my own experience the value of twitter comes from the interactions, from the people you meet and the connections you make. It’s just like a conversation in real life to some extent, don’t worry too much about what to say, just talk to someone. If someone says something (it appears in your stream) that you have a view about – you might agree, disagree, find it funny, know of something useful they might be interested in – say so, let them know, and hopefully they’ll get back to you and before you know it, the conversation has started.

6) Don’t worry too much about your follower numbers and you don’t have to follow someone back

It’s not a popularity contest, and it doesn’t really matter whether you’re followed by five people or five thousand people, in my opinion the value comes from the quality of interactions and experiences you have. Some people can get quite hung up on the number of people following them, but it really doesn’t matter. We also had a discussion about manners – while some people might like you to follow them back if they follow you, there really is no requirement to do so – it’s back to hint one, there are no rules. So don’t feel obliged to follow any one.

7) Think about your manners

I’m not going to say mind your manners, because I’m not your ma and it’s not for me to tell you how to behave. That said, I really appreciate people who do say please and thank you, where possible. It’s always nice to be acknowledged or to know if something you said was helpful/funny/ridiculous – you can talk to someone direct by including @theirname in your message; give it a try.

8) Use hashtags to find things of interest

A hashtag is a symbol that is used to group or collate tweets around that topic. You can then click on a #hashtag and see all tweets related to that topic, you can put them anywhere in a tweet, as long as they are preceded by the # symbol. When demoing the potential powers and wonderfulness of twitter yesterday we looked at a hashtag from a recent conference I’d spoken at. We also looked at #lazyweb, a hashtag that people tend to use to ask the web for an answer, when they’re too lazy to find it themselves e.g. Anyone recommend a good quality, cheap external hard drive? #lazyweb

9) Don’t worry about unfollowing people

When you follow someone on twitter, if their profile is set to notify them they may get an email to say you have started following them. This allows them to get in touch and say hello, see who is interested, and can be useful for keeping up to date. However, twitter doesn’t send a message or email if you un-follow someone. This means that you can follow and un-follow at your leisure if someone doesn’t interest you, if they tweet too much, if they are rude or offensive to you. You can have a look at someone’s recent tweets by looking at their profile but the easiest way to decide whether you should follow someone could be to just give it a go, and un-follow if you’re not keen.

10) Add a photo and biography 

I suspect (this is made up evidence, based on my own behaviour) more people will engage with you if you include a photo/image on your profile. To add one, go to profile-settings-profile and pick an image to use. Likewise with a biography, I find it really helpful as a way to identify people, and to check whether they might be of interest to me – you can only put a few lines, but it’s worth a try.

Yesterday when demonstrating the wonderfullness (this may be a made up word) of twitter I asked people for their hints and tips and reasons for using twitter. I’ll add those into a post in the next few days, as there were some great suggestions that you may be interested in. For now, happy tweeting.

Help please – which camera?

About ten years ago I was finishing my PhD – it had been a lonnnnnnnnng slog, you can probably get some idea of how epic from the magnitude (and overly flowery nature) of my acknowledgements page, that you can read here. Throughout the time of finishing and writing up my PhD I promised myself many things to spur me on – if I finished I’d buy myself a Rigby and Peller Corset or Basque, I’d buy myself a Leather Jacket, and I’d buy myself a decent camera.

Well funnily enough, as soon as I handed the thing in and passed my viva, the need for all of these rewards dropped off – they didn’t seem important anymore, I was now Dr George, the system recognised my effort, and to be honest that was all I needed to know it had been worth it. That’s a post for another time, but this weekend I have been thinking about how much of my life has been and gone in the last ten years, some of the experiences I’ve had, and how much has been captured more latterly on my phone camera. Which is great, but it’s not as great as having decent photos.

(cc) on flickr by Nesster

So I’m back on the hunt, I have no idea what I need or what I should look for. I had expected to spend at least £1k but could easily be convinced to spend more (but no more than £2k) if it was worth it. So help me out you lovely lot, I’d love to know what questions I should ask myself, what I should consider or where I should go to buy a new camera. All thoughts, as ever, very welcome.

Thanks in advance.