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Jubilation weekend
I was just looking at my blog and realising how full it is of cancer, death and dying. Now sure I’m cool with talking about that stuff but it does give (even me) the impression that my life must be horrendously difficult. That’s not to say it isn’t at times, but it is only at times, some of the time I get to enjoy normal stuff as well and in the past six weeks despite my Dad’s and my Grandad’s health declining quite significantly I also got a long weekend away for the Jubilations (nice of Her Maj to give us an extra day off and even nicer to move it to that weekend – my birthday was the following Wednesday).
I thought I’d share a few of my favourite photos from that weekend, as a reminder that life is sort of normal too, in amongst all the doom and gloom. There was a lot of food:
a lot of Baby Jack:
and a lot of Ruby:
I’ll not share photos of the impact of having Jack (and his 24 hour stomach bug) with us, suffice to say about three of the eight adults managed a crash diet that weekend and it wasn’t due to the alcohol, even though there was quite a lot of that also.
It is really hard to take time away when you don’t know what will happen at any moment, but it was also a perfect tonic to quite a hectic few weeks. The only downside was that I couldn’t visit Dad for a week, until I was completely sure I was short of Jack’s bugs, not that in itself that was a problem either because it probably just added to my sense of having a break. I just wish I could give my Mum the chance to have that break, as we come into Carers Week I’m more aware than ever of the toll that Dad’s illness and my Grandparent’s increasing frailty is having on her. I’m off to visit her the family this afternoon and will again encourage her to try and take some time out. It’s absolutely essential.
Foodie hotel recommendations please
A couple weeks ago I asked the twittersphere for recommendations of foodie hotels that are either good for staying in, or visiting for nosh. A number of people replied with recommendations, but unfortunately I’ve lost their twitter tags so apologies if you sent one of these and aren’t getting your deserved credit. Here are the hotels that were recommended:
Also in the Lake District was Lindeth Howe Country House Hotel, a former home of Beatrix Potter. Slightly further south the Star Inn, North Yorkshire was recommended:
There was one Welsh offering - Morgans Hotel, Swansea billed as a boutique hotel in the maritime quarter. There were also two Westcountry recommendations:
Cary Arm’s in Babbacombe, owned by Peter de Savary is the Inn on the Beach, with 5 AA stars and 5 Visit Britain stars it’s absolutely stunning – I’ve eaten here a few times too and it is lovely, especially when you can dine outside in the summer evenings.
The final offering was Old Quay House, Fowey overlooking the estuary.
I’m going to keep updating this post so if you have any recommendations you’d like included please just send me a tweet or add a comment. If you check any of these out please also let me know what you thought. Thanks.
What makes you happy?
Am I happy? Yes. No. Maybe. Sometimes. Rarely. What makes me happy? Depends what mood I’m in. What the weather is like. If I’m hungry. Whether I’m working. Arrrgggggggggggh I don’t know, who cares anyway?
I feel like I *should* be happy, I have a loving family, great relationships and friendships, supportive networks, I’m healthy, I have a great job that stretches me and rewards me in equal measure, I have a home, a feline companion, not as much time as I’d like but who cares about housework anyway! Some days I feel happy being happy, some days I feel at my happiest being miserable – and there in lies the rub with a happiness discussion. I’m never sure what we mean when we talk about being happy.
A conversation in the pub last week with @gerrynos and @fergusbisset got me thinking about this even more. We concluded (nothing earth shattering here folks) that happiness was a very personal construct, partly cultural and likely also to be related to upbringing and what was attributed value within that. Throughout my entire life my parents have been very focused on us kids being happy, the focus of my childhood was very much about doing your best coupled with happiness. Success in my parents eyes (I think – I might double check with them, but I’m 99% certain) is measured by being happy, it’s not about careers, exam results, fast cars, exotic holidays, having stuff, but more about how life feels. As an adult I think I live my life with similar standards, to be honest its challenging to always do your best (in fact I’m beginning to think near impossible but that’s a blog for another time) and hard to always know whether something will lead to happiness, but I try to focus on keeping a balance – I’m not happy all the time, I don’t even try to be happy all the time, but I do monitor life and know when it is out of sync. My latest theory for my own happiness is that a few basic things count. These are as follows:
1. Time spent sleeping – I can survive on 4 hours a night, I was renowned for it in college and nicknamed Maggie for the privilege. I’ve always been rather proud of not needing sleep, I’ve had an almost constant refusal to accept the fact that most humans function best on significantly more than that, until recently. I’ve come to realise that I quite simply perform better when I’ve had more sleep, I’m aiming for an average of 7hours a night, more at weekends.
2. Time spent outside – I am convinced that there is a direct correlation between the amount of time I spend outside and how happy I feel. This is unfortunate as I have a job that takes up a lot of my waking hours, and most of them are spent sat at a desk, or sat on a train, or sat in a meeting (I’ll come on to the sitting in a mo). I’m trying to get out more between meetings, walk around the building, soak up the oxygen to recharge and I’ll move to my outside office (the picnic table) as soon as the weather allows.
3. Time spent moving – this is another obvious one, I simply feel better (and I suppose happier) when I’ve exercised regularly. I’m in a constant battle with myself to overcome all the excuses I have for not running, but I simply have to do it because it works. It wont be running for everyone but it definitely helps me and I know that, so I’m going to start scheduling my runs to see if that helps.
4. Time spent singing – little left side for me this one. I’ve not really sung much since leaving school at 16, except weddings and funerals and in the car on the drive to work. I love it. I don’t (yet) love it enough to join a choir or do anything that’ll put pressure on me to perform at singing, but I have realised lately how much better I feel if I’ve had the chance to sing – so I can often be seen bopping along the A38 exercising my lungs of a morning!
5. Time spent achieving – this comes back to the do your best mantra I think. Basic human psychology and behavioural conditioning – I like rewards for doing something well. I’m a little obsessed by statistics and data and measuring progress. Few thing make me feel as content as seeing my blog hits on a good day! It’s the relativity that counts, and changes over time, not the numbers in themselves. I know my blog gets insignificant traffic by some people’s standards, but I like to compare day to day, week to week and see what has grabbed people’s attention. I got a fitbit for Christmas – best pressie *ever*. It’s an activity tracker that counts your steps, stairs climbed and calories burned – it also rewards your progress, I’ll do a post on that another time, but it’s really brought home to me how much I like little rewards.
There are other things that make me happy, such as feeling like my life has a purpose, holidays and time out, wearing hats, cold dry weather, postcards – sending and receiving, feeling connected, and perhaps most significantly relationships with friends and family but these are slightly more complicated than the five things I’ve outlined above. They are all things that I know improve my sense of happiness the more I have or do of them, my own recipe for happiness that works for me I guess.
I know that research tells me some of these things matter, but others do as well. A quick look at the Action for Happiness website tells me that yesterday was World Happy Day and they put together a Happiness Action Pack. The pack contains ten keys to happier living, as follows:
I’d love to know what makes you happy. Whether any of the things I’ve mentioned, or the research highlights, work for you. Better still I’d love to hear of alternative suggestions, however wild and wacky. Look forward to hearing from you.
If only canteen food always tasted this good
This weekend I headed to River Cafe Canteen at Axminster. I’ve been a couple of times now and keep coming back – so something must be good. I thought I’d blog this time, mostly because I’ve got some piccies of the food that I thought you might enjoy.
First up the actual canteen space. I love it, the perfect mix between a proper nasty old school canteen, and a fabulous nice cafe; blackboards, bunting, wooden tables, can’t go wrong.
Next up starters, we had one Pork and Bacon Terrine:
Cornish Blue and Roast Butternut Squash:
River Cafe Ham and Shredded Red Cabbage:
and one Crab on Toast:
In a party of six, we had four people tempted by the Sausage, Lentils and Salsa Verde:
Mussels cooked with Bacon and Cider:
Cottage Pie with Greens:
with a side order of Chips:
The two desserts that proved popular were, Apple Crumble with Vanilla Custard:
and Chocolate Mousse with Brandy Cream:
All of this was accompanied by a couple drinks and coffee and a trip to buy some coronary clogging delicious cheese and bread on the way home. So, what’s the verdict, well I’ve been to the canteen three times and will definitely be back again. That said I thought they were understaffed in the canteen, which meant that service wasn’t as attentive as it could be. For example, I really don’t mind standing in a queue, but when I get to the front of it I’d like to be acknowledged and told how long I will be waiting for a table. Again, there was gorgeous looking bread up near the counter, we weren’t offered any (maybe we should have asked) but if our waitress had a little more time I can’t help but think she’d have offered some or explained whether bread was or wasn’t included. So, the food was fantastic, the atmosphere was great, the wait was bearable (and well worth it), the service was good but it felt like they could have done with another pair of hands on the canteen floor.
That said, I’d definitely recommend a trip if you’ve not already been – you can judge for yourself then.
Customer Service…pizza style
I’ve blogged about The Pizza Cafe in Newton Abbot before – you can read it here. At the time I was talking about social media and how it is used – and was delighted that @pizzacafenewton had started chatting on twitter. I love the pizzas that these guys produce and I’ve never yet met someone who didn’t agree that it was amongst the best pizza they’ve ever had. So there’s the disclaimer – I am biased – I love Pizza Cafe Newton and I’m not ashamed to admit it!
So imagine my complete horror when we rang up last night to order pizza, only to be told that there were no large pizzas available! This is not on. It’s a Saturday night – how can you run out of pizza? X-factor is on, surely they must have known that they’d be flooded with orders. I’d already had a couple drinks so couldn’t drive to go and get a different take out – and to be honest, I had been looking for an occasion to have their pizza for weeks now (I’m trying to limit my consumption), I’d known all day we were having pizza for tea – this couldn’t be happening.
I am a big fan – I advertise them nonstop – I’d probably added to the problem, but this wasn’t on. Pizza Cafe Newton had let me down 
…except they didn’t. They have their priorities so bloody right they imagine themselves into being a customer. So when they couldn’t provide anything but small pizzas they managed to make it alright….for each of the two large pizzas we’d wanted they provided three small ones! Then to make up for it, they threw in two garlic breads and a pot of coleslaw. Now *that* is customer service.
I was then faced with a dilemma – should I advertise my ongoing love affair with Pizza Cafe Newton and their fantastic customer service and potentially risk getting someone into trouble for 1) running out of bases or 2) being too generous in their compensation. Anyway in the end I decided that my returning custom would alone make up for it…and I’m sure anyone reading this would happily share the love, and the experience, and support Pizza Cafe Newton.
The best pizza ever….and customer service as it should be. Go show them some love @pizzacafenewton.
Gluten Free Chocolate Brownies
The lovely @hadleybeeman was asking today if I had a gluten free chocolate brownie recipe. The truth is I don’t, but, I have adapted the Hummingbird Bakery recipe that features in their awesome Hummingbird Bakery Cookbook on three occasions – none of them came out perfectly, but they were all completely edible; let’ be honest with this much chocolate you can’t go wrong 
Ingredients
200gm dark chocolate
175gm unsalted butter
325gm caster sugar
**130gm plain flour**
3 eggs
icing sugar, to decorate
a 33 x 23 x 5cm baking tray, lined with greaseproof paper
Magic
Preheat the oven to Gas Mark 3 (170C/325F)
Smash the chocolate against the worktop to break it up (very therapeutic) – put chocolate and butter in a bowl over a saucepan of simmering water (usual caution about not letting bowl touch the water but I have to confess that I’m way too impatient for that so I always make sure it is in the water, just not touching the bottom of the pan)! Leave until melted and smooth.
Take off the heat. Add the sugar and stir it all together. Then add flour** and stir until well mixed. Lightly beat the eggs and stir them into the mix until thick and smooth.
Pour/spoon into baking tray and bake in preheated oven for about half an hour – the idea is to get brownies that are soft in middle and flaky on top. I have cooked these loads of times and nearly always leave them in for too long! I check after 30mins, get concerned that the mix is still a little wobbly looking, bottle it and put them back in for five mins….only to end up with overdone brownies with crispy edges – which are still beautifully edible but not as nice as they should be.
Leave to cool before decorating with icing sugar. Serve with clotted cream, ice cream, yoghurt if you insist on pretending to be healthy, on their own. I’ve never had anyone complain about these!
**Gluten free alternatives**
As I said I’ve made these three times for those pesky people who don’t do gluten One of the times I did a straight swop for almonds, so instead of the flour just 130gm ground almonds; one of the times I replaced with a mix of half almonds and half rice flour; and one time I just used gluten free flour from Doves Farm.
IMO none of these substitutes work as well….but they were all still very edible and very yummy.
Brownie tin?
This week the ever resourceful @dalekdoctor spotted this and sent me a link to the Edge Brownie Pan – I have yet to indulge in a purchase but if I do I’ll let you know how I get on – it makes perfect sense to me as a solution for the is it raw…damn it’s crusty challenge I regularly seem to face.
Need an excuse?
Just in case you are one of those strange, restrained types who needs an excuse to get baking – don’t forget it’s @macmillancoffee today and let’s face it, we shouldn’t need a special day to eat cake or raise cash for them – they’re worth it anyday, so get baking 
Cancer and Cake
The other week I sat down to watch The Bucket List, I didn’t really know much about it, except that it was a comedy and that Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson starred in it. In a nutshell, for anyone who hasn’t seen it, it’s about two terminally ill cancer patients and their quest to achieve a number of things on their to-do list before they die. It’s a little cheesy, it’s easy watching, there’s a moral (kinda), you can probably take as much or as little out of it as you like. The tag lines of the film probably tell you all you need to know:
When he closed his eyes, his heart was opened
You only live once, so why not die with style?
If you’ve not seen it I’d recommend it.
Except it left me thinking. A lot. Regular readers (all two of you ), will be aware that my dad has terminal cancer, cholangiocarcinoma (you’d think after three years I wouldn’t need to double check how to spell that bloody word but no such luck). At his last appointment he decided not to have chemo for now (it was only likely to give him extra months not years) and to just carry on as normal – whatever normal is. The irony of the situation is that my dad is, or at least looks, fit and well; you wouldn’t know he was ill, indeed if it wasn’t for the routine scan earlier this summer I’m not sure we’d have been giving it a second thought. Dad was given three months to live, three years ago this week; he has surpassed all the odds already.
Last week was his birthday. What do you get a man who is dying for his birthday? Getting my dad a birthday present is an epic task at the best of times. He’s almost Buddhist in his approach to life and possessions – nothing is permanent so why want for anything? The only answer my dad has ever been consistent with when asked what he wants for his birthday – or for Christmas – or any other occasion is three well behaved children. We’re not too bad, us three, and we’re all adults now – so hopefully that need is met. So, true to form, what did I get him – I got him nothing, I baked instead. Double chocolate brownies for my pa on his 63rd birthday.
Which loops full circle to the point of this post – having just watched the Great British Bake Off on BBC2 I’ve decided that I’ll be baking tomorrow night for the World’s Biggest Coffee Morning on Friday. It’s not too late – you can still register to raise incredibly valuable funds for Macmillan Cancer Support. Trust me, Macmillan do really make the difference between a good and a bad day and just £25 could pay for a Macmillan Nurse for an hour; to be blunt that hour could change someone’s life.
You can help Macmillan continue their fantastic work – and you get to eat cake; what more could you ask for?
I’m out of my box! #box10
I have an awful habit of needing to blog almost immediately after an event – sort of stops me putting it onto the to do list (never likely to see the light of day again), forgetting things that in the cold light of day mellow and feel less significant and on this occasion it also has the benefit of not letting me fall asleep after my pint with @chibbie @markhawker @alissproject and @couragemary …having just made my train I have no intention of snoozing off and waking up in Penzance!
So this post will contain my raw, unconsidered and unreflected thoughts – I promise I’ll return and blog more in the next couple days, but for now here goes.
Today I had the privilege of attending Out of the Box a @patientopinion conference looking at how patients, service users and carers are using the web to change their lives and their services; you can see more about what was covered in the timetable below.
This is not my first conference hosted by Patient Opinion, I had a great time at #mps09 my public services conference last year – it won’t be my last either, as I’m looking forward to the NESTA and Patient Opinion event next week A Better Old Age: how the web will be part of caring for older people. However after that I am going to make myself think long and hard before signing up to another conference, not because they’re not brilliant – they are, but I feel like I should do as my mum would expect and let someone else have a go! This is my first reflection point really, and one I know that I’m not alone with – I feel like I’ve got enough information and now it’s my challenge to go away and instigate some changes off the back of it…as much as I love being there, and I always learn lots, I’m sure other people would have learnt more from attending today.
My second observation is around participation. Patient Opinion run their conferences on a gift economy – the underlying costs are covered by them, but essentially the speakers give the gift of their words, delegates give the gift of refreshments and baking, others of us try to share the goings on with a wider audience through ramblings like this, or tweets on the day. There is something about the gift economy, actually there’s a lot to it, but for me it’s the subtle difference between attending something and just passively absorbing versus attending, contributing and feeling a bit of buy in to the success of the day. There’s definitely something in the gift economy approach…and it’s not just cake!
Another thing that has hit me on both occasions I’ve attended Patient Opinion events now is how warm and friendly their staff are. There is something about being welcomed, genuinely welcomed by people who *genuinely*care (or do a good show of pretending they care), I don’t think I’ve ever seen people lurking in corners doing that awkward I-don’t-know-anyone at conference pose, I’m not sure if it’s carefully planned, genuine personalities or just luck of the atmosphere but a friendlier conference you’d struggle to find.
I’ve also been reflecting on the challenge at any of these events of trying to reach your audience, wherever they are at – physically and intellectually! So people might be in the building participating or they might be virtually participating; all of these people might know nothing or might be experts in your topic. The format of today’s event – plenary, workshops, soapbox and speed-dating marketplace meant that there was something for everyone. I was a particular fan of the soapbox sessions although it did mean there wasn’t too much chance for informal chat over coffee – but there was lots of time at lunch so that was ok. I was obviously there so can’t comment on how well it worked virtually but this is something I’d love to explore in terms of how we can make the most of attendance for non-attendees, something I was interested in before even arriving this morning!
So content, what about the content. I don’t want to mention particular speakers or highlights in terms of presentations in this post, with the exception of Ann McPherson who spoke in the first plenary. In my opinion Ann was fabulous, her very candid sharing of her experience left me wanting to know more. She is obviously very passionate and personally and professionally tied to what she does, she is the Director of Health Experiences Research Group; and has also had breast cancer and is living with pancreatic cancer. Ann was always going to light my fire as she talked research methods and analysis, not just anecdote; she also made a call for realistic, normal stories and patient experiences – not just the tragic or the heroic. You can see more of the work Ann was talking about, and the resulting stories on www.healthtalkonline.org and www.youthhealthtalk.org
Throughout the rest of the day there were three things that emerged for me – three recurrent themes and questions.
1. Story…stories are everywhere; we all know that they’re a good idea, we know they’re the secret to winning hearts and minds and that without them we can kiss goodbye to any real behavior change. Let’s take that as a given. What I desperately wanted to know, and the nut I failed to crack today but hope to muse over further in the next few months, was how do we use stories and, most importantly, how do we know they’re effective in making changes? This is really a question of how do we apply them to instigate change, not why should we use them, or whether they are valid. Speaking with James from Patient Opinion at lunchtime he has a good argument, and some great examples, for how their work is making change – but it needs to be genuinely embedded throughout services and I believe that we’re in danger of seeking out a magic fairy story wand here and hoping if we wave it the change will follow once people understand why it is important. I need more reassurance and I need evidence, preferably including cost-benefits work, to be able to really defend the use of stories as a tool for change. I’m not sure I made this point clear enough when discussing it earlier and I’m not sure I’ve made it clearly enough here but this will definitely be something I return to once everything has settled in my mind a little more.
2) Who are we there for? The conference sought to look at the experience of patients and carers and also included perspectives from staff and people who provide support and are interested in doing that better. These are all very different groups of people – although of course they’re not mutually exclusive. I was quite struck today at the different approaches required for each of these groups, something that has not necessarily hit home as obviously for me on previous occasions.
3) So what? No really, so what? Patient Opinion have done a brilliant job in pulling this off, big shout out to Jonty who did a lot of the work, we’ve all had a nice day…but what will change? This is really a question – definitely not something I have a crystal clear answer to just yet. The day ended with each of us writing a promise to ourselves that will land back on our doormats in a month or so and hold us to account. There are conversations happening about moving this on; to some extent I was a little frustrated at myself today – I am the converted here, I buy it, I really do – preaching to the converted isn’t going to get us anywhere, so if anyone else is interested in joining a conversation about what we do about this then please shout. I will make sure I move this on…somehow!
I had a really fabulous day. Massive thank you to @patientopinion and @jauntyhall for all their work – I suspect few people really understand what goes into organising something like that, with the possible exception of @laurenivory I also had the opportunity to meet lots of people in real life, some for the first time and really hope that between us we can go out there, back into the real world and change things. Consider this a very unreflective, unconsidered call to arms!
Hinton St George
If you type Hinton St George into google, this map is the first thing you find:
and to be honest it’s about all you would need, it’s tiny.
Last Friday myself and Ferg had the pleasure of visiting Hinton St George, on the recommendation of Mark. It hadn’t been the best of weeks, I didn’t get to leave work early as planned and it was all a bit of a rush to get there; but it was truly fabulous and definitely worth the effort of getting there.
We stayed overnight at the Lord Poulett Arms where we ate and drank the night away.
We had a fabulous room complete with an old fashioned bed, one of those ones that makes you feel like a kid because it’s so high your feet don’t reach the floor. The bathroom, just across the corrdior, had a beautiful free standing iron bath that also made you feel a little special. The view from the room was also truly awesome, check out the rose, postbox and red phonebox….could you get a more ‘quaint English village’ look?
The Lord Poulett Arms was a fab place to stay, the only criticism is that it was a little busy on the Friday night when we arrived and when shown to our room we weren’t told the times for breakfast. We didn’t realise this until after everyone had left for the night and hesitated a guess at getting down for 09.45, assuming it would probably finish at 10am.
#bigfatfail
When we got there on Saturday morning we were greeted by a lady complete with hoover cleaning the pub. I think she saw the look pass between us, the ‘oh bloody hell we’ve missed breakfast’ look. What then happened was really ace customer service in action. She checked whether we were expecting breakfast, explained that we should have been told it finished at 9am, apologised that we hadn’t been and offered to get us something, but it wouldn’t be cooked. She then proceeded to get us fresh coffee, cereals, fruit, yoghurts, fresh orange juice, toast, two types of jam, butter, marmalade, croissants…and not once did she complain (despite the fact we were obviously holding her up from her cleaning duties) and when we came to pay she apologised again.
I am so glad that we missed brekkie! What we got instead was a really lovely start to our day, we hadn’t had to get up hideously early (looking civilised before 10am on a weekend is hideous to me), and I really felt that her customer service was above and beyond what was required. After brekkie we took a stroll through the village (took about two mins) and went to the local Personal Services Store (am saving that photo for a work presentation!) and managed to grab a jab of *the* most amazing jam I’ve had in years.
Made by the wife of the man who runs the village shop, and served in the pub, at the ridiculously cheap price of £1.85 the Strawberry and Gooseberry Jam is worth a trip to Hinton St George all in its own right! Go on, check it out, Somerset at its best.
Reminiscing
My mum just called to have a chat. She was reminiscing about this weekend two years ago. Today would have been the Thursday before my sister Abi, and her husband Steve got married and my Dad had just finished chemo early due to side effects. He couldn’t walk, literally, could barely take a step….yet had two days before he walked my sister down the aisle, I’ve written about this before so won’t go on. Suffice to say it was a little stressful.
Meanwhile I had my own stress to worry about as I’d stupidly offered to bake my sister’s wedding cake. Now I know my little sis well enough to know that wasn’t a good idea but they were getting hitched on a budget and I’d done a couple wedding cakes and figured she’d rein in her tendencies to something realistic. Yeh right.
Abi wanted four tiers…yip, four. Easy peasy…not. She also wanted each tier to be different. She had a fruit cake, double chocolate cake, victoria sponge cake and the top tier was a lemon drizzle cake – baked in a pork pie tin!! So four different cakes, four different icings and loads and loads of little hearts for decoration….not to mention the stress of cutting the dowels to size to make sure it stacked and stayed up…oh and I’m missing the forty minute drive to the wedding reception venue. All kinda stressful. Well worth it though…it was exactly what she wanted, right down to the camouflage ribbon!
My mum likes to remember the bad times as well as the good times and I reckon that’s a good thing; tomorrow I’m having dinner with my folks, my sis and her hubby and the new addition to our family, my gorgeous niece, Libby. Two years ago I never would have believed that life would be as good as it is now, as my mate Jo always says ‘you never know what’s round the corner’
