“The mind has exactly the same power as the hands; not merely to grasp the world, but to change it” – Colin Wilson
Sorry for being a little absent from here lately – the only explanation I have is that my real life has been so hectic that I let the virtual one slip!
Up until a month or so ago I probably would have argued that my virtual life (by which I’m referring to twitter, blogging, facestalker) and my ‘real’ life (I guess that is everything that doesn’t involve the interweb) were so linked together I couldn’t separate them – however real life has continued at a pace and virtual has been far more sporadic, so I guess they’re not as intertwined as I thought. So my attention on the virtual world has been sporadic but I have been lurking and watching a few conversations at times, just haven’t had the time or headspace to get involved in them. One of the noteable exceptions being the World Cup final which was a bit like eurovision for me – I’d say twice as enjoyable with twitter company, so thanks for that guys. I’ve also found myself falling back in love with facestalker in recent weeks and reconnecting with people I’ve not spoken to in a while, especially friends I used to have in my life when I lived in Ireland, which has been very reassuring – it never ceases to amaze me how easy it is to reconnect with people and strike up friendships again, is like they are dormant I suppose, just waiting for an opportunity to rekindle. Good times.
“Dr Miller says we are pessimistic because life seems like a very bad, very screwed-up film. If you ask “what the hell is wrong with the projector?” and go up to the control room, you find it’s empty. You are the projectionist, and you should have been up there all the time” – Colin Wilson
As before, I’ve been blown away by the support and contact I’ve had from lots of different people, especially given my relative absence from the virtual world. This week especially I’ve had lots of contact from people asking how things are, especially with regard to my dad so today I thought I’d take the time to update here. Last time I blogged about dad we had been to get the results of his PET Scan which were inconclusive; he had a biopsy arranged for about ten days later – was admitted into hospital as planned, had loads of tests done and was due to have the biopsy done with ultrasound but when it came to it they couldn’t find ‘it’ (we’re still not sure what it is – hence the biopsy being required) so he was sent home. As I’m sure you can imagine that was fairly difficult – Dad was getting a bit frustrated, I can’t begin to imagine how hard it must be to think you’re moving towards getting answers and then just keep experiencing delays along the way. Anyhow, fast-forward a week or so and on Wednesday he had the biopsy taken with the help of a CT Scan. He had a local anaesthetic and apparently it didn’t hurt but sounded like a staple gun going off! So we’re still none the wiser. The results could take up to three weeks – we’ve never had to wait that long before but I guess they’re covering all bases and they might find out answers earlier than that.
On the plus side Dad was tested and came back as MRSA negative. This is awesome news because last summer it was MRSA poisoning that nearly killed him and I’ve always been fairly convinced (based on nothing you understand, just gut feeling and prior experience) that it would be the MRSA that caused him more problems than the cancer. While we’re on positives, there have been loads of other good things happen since I last blogged, a few highlights:
- thanks for all your support, in total we raised over £800 for Prospect Hospice walking in memory of Dan
- I’ve seen Kings of Leon in Hyde Park and caught Mumford and Sons, Doves, Martha Wainright and Paolo Nutini at Eden Sessions – had been a short while since I’d been to a gig and was a great reminder of how easy it is to feel alive, requirements live music and atmosphere – good company helps too 😉
- spent a night under canvas – is too long since I’ve camped but it was good to hear the wind and the rain while cosy warm in bed; there is something I find reassuringly comforting about being so close to nature and realising how small and insignificant we all are in the big scheme of things
- I booked a holiday for the summer – six days in Italy with friends who I used to live with in Dublin; there is also talk of a second holiday to watch the Canoe Polo World Championships in Milan and I’m currently contemplating a trip next year too
- my little sister gave me a talking to! Weird one this, bit like exercise – you gotta go through the pain to get the pleasure/benefits but it was well worth it for restoring perspective!
- *drumroll please*I met Rich Watts for the first time, in real life…and I got to meet Oscar Watts and NTW too. What a combination. There are few things in life as reassuring as meeting someone who you’ve been connected to for months, probably almost a year, never having met and then when you do finding that they aren’t as you imagined – but because they’re better than you imagined. Does that make sense?
Which leads me back full circle to the title of this post – it’s all about perspective. Some days I’m good at seeing the big picture and others less so. Some days I let life pile on top of me and struggle to find the positives – on those days I’m keen not to be spreading my doom and gloom so step away from the laptop. Some days I remember how bloody luck I am, and sit thinking about the awesome people that I have in my life, or who have passed through my life and am thankful. Today is one of them; to some extent it doesn’t matter if we find out this week that Dad has cancer – we’re all dying anyway, him having tests to confirm it just changes the perspective a little – so I’m determined to keep a bigger picture perspective, to remember what else matters and to remember that while cancer is not in my control, my perspective is!
“The problem is everywhere, you’re never going to get away from it” – Colin Wilson
NB: This blog post has included a little hat trick from Colin Wilson. If you want to know more about him you could check out the post here or of course the fountain of all knowledge, the wikipedia article here.