Bricking it

This weekend I’ll be attempting to complete the Cardiff Half Marathon. I signed up to this in a fit of enthusiasm and naive optimism back in May, in no small part due to Erin’s account of her marathon. At the time I commented that:

It’s not so much about the physical side of it, more the mental side….dare I say fear of failure or risk of making a mistake?. So its all in your head… there really are no excuses except your own.

Ha ha ha, how I chuckle as I read that now. I am still 100% certain it’s a mental battle, however I seem to have believed my own hype a little too much and stopped training far too prematurely. In fact if I’m honest I’ve never really got into training this year…although I’ve made an olympic standard effort at Carb loading for the past month!

No seriously, I’ve not been out anywhere near as much as I’d have liked to. I don’t feel as prepared as I would have liked to. I am still adding to the list of excuses for not running on a daily basis – and still well aware that they’re excuses and nothing more.

On Sunday I’ll join 10,999 other people to stumble around Cardiff. I’m confident I’ll be fine for the first 5 or 6 miles (as long as I don’t get sucked into running too fast to start with) and I’m sure adrenalin will carry me for the past 2 so it’s only the middle 5 miles that I really need to worry about! I figure at worse I’ll walk it. This is a battle with myself, no one else. I am truly grateful that I am able to run/jog/walk it and I’m just hoping that the urge I felt to run when we did the walk in memory of my mate Dan, will re-emerge at the critical time.

A few people have been asking if I’m running for charity. I’m not this time. I’ve done a few sponsored events in the past year or so and am conscious that I don’t want to keep asking the same people for support. Instead I’ll keep cancer as my motivator, it can sit smugly on my shoulder and when I’m doubting whether I’ll complete it I’ll remind myself of how lucky I am to have the chance to do so. I’ll raise funds another day, this time it’s between me, my head and the tarmac. Wish me luck!

 

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